The weekend before last we took a trip to Utah for my little sister Lana's baptism. It was so nice to go to Utah and spend some time with my family. I definitely miss them a lot. Life here in California is great but there's nothing like the bond I have with my siblings. Everything we've endured throughout our childhood has definitely made us stronger as siblings. I enjoy the relationships I have with each of them. I never realized how big of an impact they had in my life until I moved away. I can't wait until they get married and give me a few nieces and nephews, I have that Auntie itch!!
I didn't think I was going to be able to see Hola since he was in Mesquite that weekend but he came back Sunday so we were able to spend Sunday night with him. He is growing so fast and getting more mature every time I see him. No matter what or how big he gets he'll always be my baby!! Once we got to Utah poor baby Jack was fussy. He knew he wasn't home and was wondering where his Nana and Papa were. I wondered why he was crying so much because if you knew our little Jackie boy he doesn't cry EVER. I checked his little gums and his two bottom teeth were cutting. Saturday night was rough. He and I pretty much stayed up all night. He couldn't get comfortable but once he did the pain came back so he didn't get any rest. It breaks my heart to be so helpless but every baby goes through it and this won't be the last time.
We were able to spend time with my mom as well as my dad and his little family. It's always nice to come back but it's always so hard to try and get together to see everyone. There seems to never be enough time in the day but next time I go to Utah hopefully it'll be longer and that way I'll be able to plan more to getting around to seeing more people.
It was nice to get away for the weekend but as much as I wouldn't like to admit it, it was also nice to be back home and get back to our daily routine. I can't wait until the summer so our Hola can join us and I know that he can't wait either.
The thing that broke my heart was the drive to the airport Monday morning. Hola came with my mom to drop us off. The whole drive there he was crying and kept saying he didn't want us to leave and that he can't wait until he comes. He kept hugging me and saying I miss you guys and wish I could come. I almost broke down but knew I had to be strong. As we walked into the airport Zeeky told me that seeing Hola cry made him want to cry. I know in a few years we'll look back at these times and memories and know that we were all stronger for the experiences. As much as I want to get down every time I hear his little voice crack trying to hold back tears I know that at least he is here on earth. At least for the time being we have him healthy and alive. People are so quick to think that they have it worse but with all the calamities happening in the world I know that there are always people who have got it much worse than I do. I had a dear friend pass away this past week in a car accident and it made me realize as I saw pictures of his mother looking at her son and kissing his forehead that life is short. It made me realize that the time is now for me to continue to live worthily and I am grateful to be able to make our family eternal this coming April. As much as I want to think it's so hard not having Hola in the same state as me I realize that some mother's are awaiting their reunion with their children much much longer than summer. That some mother's have had to mourn the loss of their child and have had to bury them much sooner than anticipated. I commend those that have had to go through such a tragedy, for their strength and their ability to continue on. I am grateful for the Plan of Salvation and for knowing that families can be together forever. I am grateful for my children and all that they make me. I am grateful for such a loving husband and hope that I always tell him how much he means to me. I am grateful to know the truthfulness of this gospel. I count my blessings each day and know how privileged I really am. I hope that you've all been well. This pregnancy has done a number on me and I am much more weaker than I used to be or maybe I've just become a big baby! Zeeky and I have decided that this will be our last child. This will give us an opportunity to enjoy them and be able to provide for them comfortably and have the means to try and give them the things they need as well as what they want. (only if deserving of course!) We feel that three boys will complete our family and although I wanted to have a girl to be able to build a great relationship with I'm reminded that I've already raised a beautiful girl. Her name is Mariel. Even though she is my baby sister, I raised her almost as if she were my own. I've cared for her, comforted her and have an amazing relationship with her. She is and will always be my first baby, the one I learned my mothering skills on. I've been blessed to watch her grow into a beautiful young woman who is strong and knows what she wants in life. I am proud of her and hope she knows how much I love her. On another happy note, I am getting my endowments on March 26th which is this coming Saturday. I am so overwhelmed with joy and try not to think about it too much because I get really emotional. My journey to finally get to this huge mile stone has been a long and hard road but it's here and I'm happy I've made it this far!!
I hope you all have a wonderful week and that you tell the ones you love how much they mean to you.
Here are some photos of our little weekend trip.