Apr 11, 2012

Life is But A Probationary State

My very core has been shaken and my heart aches. My deepest condolences go out to my husband's very good friend and teammate Buddy Robinson's family. Tuesday was a very emotional day. Monday afternoon we found out that the coaches will be unable to honor Isaiah's scholarship so after this semester we will be heading back to California. We are relieved that we finally have an answer and are making plans to move forward. Isaiah's whole collegiate experience has been an amazing journey. His goal was to get a scholarship and attain a degree. We could stay here and take out student loans to finish since he only has two more semesters left but his mind has always been set on not taking out any student loans so we will finish off in California. We'll be able to get jobs without paying for daycare, be closer to both of our families and have the much needed support our families give us. I have to admit I was excited to be going back to civilization and still am but by Monday night I couldn't stop thinking about all the things I will miss about Cullowhee. The fact that we had made this little apartment our humble abode and that in this process of being away from our family and friends made us grow closer as a couple and a family. In just eight short months we were able to live in a different state, experience another lifestyle, see greener pastures and be witnesses of a slower, laid-back kind of life. Living here has made me marvel at God's beautiful creations. The wonderful trees, the changing of seasons and the beautiful blossoms. I am constantly reminded that God is everywhere and in everything and is in mind of what we need and how we will receive these trials AND blessings. I give thanks to Him every day of my life and know that through obedience, faith and good works we may be able to reap the blessings of eternal life. My faith has been tested and my relationship with God has grown more than it ever has these past eight months.
Like I said before Tuesday was an emotional day knowing that some of our greatest foundations were established here in little Cullowhee but also as I came home from my Zumba class that evening I looked at Isaiah and he seemed very down and worried, almost sickly. I had asked a couple times if he was okay. He told me he was but said it was weird that he hadn't heard from his friend Buddy. Those two talk all the time, every day. Buddy was one of Isaiah's teammates and probably his closest friend here. I jokingly call Buddy Isaiah's girlfriend because those two talk and text each other all the time. They liked to make fun of each other. They were boys and at the end of the day Buddy considered Isaiah one of his truest friends. The last time Isaiah had heard from him was Tuesday afternoon and when I got home from Zumba at around 8:15 PM Isaiah still hadn't heard from him. He thought it was weird because Buddy always responds right away. He knew something was wrong. He checked Buddy's Facebook and saw RIP posts on his wall. We were shocked and were wondering what in the world happened since the last time they had spoken to each other. Isaiah contacted another teammate that would know for sure what had happened. My heart dropped because Isaiah was in total shock and I knew that he was hurting. As I type these words it still seems unreal. It still seems like he's going to knock on our door or text Isaiah telling him everything is alright. After a while of searching for reports and news websites we found this. We couldn't believe it because Isaiah had just talked to him. Buddy had been shot multiple times and was pronounced dead on the scene. It would not set in for us. Isaiah talked to him earlier, how could something so horrible happen to one of his closest friends? We are at a loss for words. My heart aches for Buddy's parents and his family. My heart aches to see my husband in shock and to see him hold back the tears. To see the pain in his eyes that he lost someone he had grown so close to, someone that he considers a brother. Isaiah always says that it isn't how long you know someone for their friendship to mean a lot.
It really is about quality over quantity and Buddy was always one to help my husband and our little family out. When we didn't have a car he would come pick Isaiah up to go shopping and bring the groceries up. He was always willing to give Isaiah rides to school, pick him up for football meetings and drop us off at the airport.
I am truly grateful for the Plan of Salvation and I know that Buddy is in a better place. I am grateful that God answers prayers and is able to place an overwhelming feeling of comfort over my husband and peace of mind for me. We have been showered with many of the Lord's tender mercies and have been able to rely on memories to heal pain. It hurts my heart to know Buddy suffered but it is such an amazing and most joyous gift that we have received as Christ atoned for our sins and loosed the bands of death for each and every one of us. I hope that you all hold your loved ones dear, to make each day a precious memory and when people you know come to mind, I hope you are reaching out to them. I hope you share lots and lots of love to any and everyone around you.
May you rest in peace Buddy.
{Buddy & Isaiah}

6 comments:

  1. I am so sorry to hear this...pleas know you are in our thoughts and prayers.

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  2. Thanks Kristy, two days and it still feels surreal. Wish it was a dream but I know in my heart everything happens for a reason. I know God has a plan and that we must have faith that in the end all will be well. Grieving is part of life and though everyone must feel it at some point, it is SO comforting to know that Christ has seen it all, felt it all and ultimately died for us ALL that we might have joy. As heavy as our hearts may seem now, we will continue to stay obedient to the gospel of Jesus Christ. We will stay motivated for Buddy. We will reach our greatest potential for him. We will stay inspired for him. His death will not be in vain although his life was taken, justice will be served. 

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  3. jessica.jorgensen07April 12, 2012 at 8:58 PM

    It's so hard to deal with something like this so suddenly. What a tough thing, I'm so sorry for you guys and his family. I'm glad you have an eternal perspective, sometimes that's the only way to get through it.

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  4. It's so true! If I didn't have that knowledge this would be so much harder to swallow. Thanks Jess!

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  5. What a horrible tragedy. I am so sorry for you and Isaiah's loss. I know you know he has gone to a far better place, but it doesn't make the pain go away completely.

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  6. Thanks Holli! I think the most unsettling thing is knowing that his killer is still out there. I know justice will be served hopefully on earth but most definitely on judgement day. 

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