Long, spiritual post. If you're not up for reading a novel, JUST KEEP ON CLICKING!!
This was something I wrote just days BEFORE the 2011 General Relief Society Meeting:
Lately I've been feeling insignificant and can't shake the fact that the things I do have no meaning.
I'll lay in bed while everyone is asleep and wonder why I feel this way. There are times when I am randomly feeling down or have crazy mood swings. I can't wait until we get our car so the boys and I can get out of our apartment. I think being cooped up all day and night might have me feeling a little outside of my skin. I think about my daily routine and among the spit-up, dirty diapers, laundry, cooking and cleaning I realize that I may be of more importance than I think. I don't look for recognition nor do I want pity but these are my feelings. I can't help what I feel and I can't help but be real with myself as well as with everyone else. I have been thinking a lot about my interests, my education and where I see myself within the next five to ten years. I honestly take things day by day but there was one night where I was feeling a little down in the dumps. I was having my own little pity party while everyone was asleep and I thought to myself, "Who are you?"
It had me thinking about what kind of person I am? Who I want to be? Will I finish college? What are my talents? Will I be able to find things I can learn and apply them to my everyday life? What kind of mother do I want to be? The questions wouldn't stop. I was getting overwhelmed because in some way I felt lost.
From time to time I will blog wander and just stumble upon people's blogs. I like the fact that everyone has a story and everyone has their own voice. I love that others share their talents whether it be their love for fashion, photography, sewing, cooking, etc. Regardless of how big this world may be, in our own little way we are stars to the ones we love, to the people that matter the most; our family.
This was what I wrote AFTER listening to the General Relief Society Meeting:
I wasn't able to go to the General Relief Society Meeting so today I was able to sit down and watch President Uchtdorf's talk online. It was inspiring and you can read it here.
He speaks about the forget-me-not flower and brings up 5 points that we as women should never forget.
Here are the five points or shall I say "Forget Not's" to remember:
1- Forget not to be patient and compassionate with yourself.
2- Forget not that some sacrifices are better than others.
3- Forget not to be happy NOW.
4- Forget not that the why of the gospel will inspire and uplift you.
5- Forget not that Heavenly Father knows, loves and cherishes you.
As I was watching this, listening to President Uchtdorf elaborate on these five points, it really was an answer to some questions that had been boiling in my head. Watching General Conference is always so uplifting to me. I gain a better perspective of what I need to be doing and how I should handle my dealings with others. I am always reminded that with the power of prayer and having faith, all will be well. I am not nor will I ever be forsaken. The last month I have had feelings of being insignificant and feeling a little lost in my own skin. I have often wondered what kind of purpose do I hold here? With these thoughts I prayed that in listening to General Conference, I would be blessed to be able to find answers and inspiration at this point in my life. As always the Lord did provide. I am overwhelmed with gratitude that the Lord hears my prayers. That He provided insight and knowledge to each speaker that they may be of great help to me along with so many others. The Lord definitely knows me individually. As the years continue and as I get older I am noticing all of His goodness and His hand in all aspects of my life. I knew that this was my assurance from the Lord that I am not alone and better yet I have not been forgotten. This is just one of the many tender mercies that the Lord has bestowed upon me. I know it is only natural to feel insignificant, small, and feeling like you don't matter to anyone or even to the world. I know in pondering my blessings I am significant. As much as Satan would like to bring me down and make me feel like I am alone, I know that is not the case. I am a significant part in helping raise my children and providing all the tools necessary for teaching them to rely on the Lord.
I know I am of significance to my husband and help him in many ways.
My sisters with their thoughtful text messages have let me know that I am a significant part of their lives.
I hope that in watching General Conference you have been inspired to become a better you and to turn your weaknesses into strengths. I hope you learn to focus your lives on the good and incline your heart to the Lord. May we become better servants of the Lord and may we continue on with a faith that can never be shaken. Have a great week.
The Lord knows YOU!
He knows ME!
All these things I was feeling and wondering. He answered them through President Uchtdorf's talk. The funny thing is, many women feel this way.
Am I alone? NEVER!
Are you? NO WAY!
It's amazing what can happen if you are susceptible to the promptings of the Spirit. The Lord knows your pains, sufferings, troubles and thoughts. He will and always be your constant! Rely on Him!
Have a great Thursday!!