Nov 11, 2013

On the fence

I absolutely love having boys.
I love being a 'boy mom.'

If I could afford it, I would have a million kids.
Okay maybe not a million but you know what I mean!
I love them.
I love the crazy things they say, their honesty, their innocence.
I love the look in their eyes when they discover something new.
I love the fact that they test my patience and challenge me.
I love their little feet, their tiny hands and their huge hugs.
Children keep me feeling young and I never feel too old to be silly.

They make every day so much better and they truly bring joy in my life.
The last few months, I've been thinking about whether or not having more would be a good idea.
I keep going back and forth on my decision.
One day, it'll be a complete YES to being done and then the more I think about it, I'll convince myself that I might want to have another one.
People think I'm crazy and are always telling me that I don't need another.
The standard nowadays is two right?
They remind me of the extra finances that come with another child.
They remind me about college and that I already have three kids so far. (like I didn't know that already)
 They say I'd have to put 4, I repeat 4 kids in school, 4 people to push and motivate to go to college ( even when I didn't finish college myself), 4 missions, 4 weddings.
They remind me of the diapers, wipes and extra boogers that I'll have to wipe up.
The thing they don't remind me of is the beautiful spirit I will be bringing into this world.
The special bond that you'll start once you become pregnant.
They never mention the extra love and cuddles I'll be getting.
They don't talk about being linked to another person eternally.
They don't talk about the spiritual blessings we will receive by bringing in more choice spirits in this crazy and hectic world.
The Lord knows our wants and needs.
I know that this will solely be a decision that will need to be made by my husband, me and Heavenly Father.
I know that this will be a decision made by fasting and prayer.
I always think about the financial aspect of things but I need to think beyond that.
It's time for me to get my eternal perspective goggles on and pray about this.
Of course finances will play a part of it but I think people need to realize what a blessing it is to be able to give birth.
I'm not saying go and have kids at 17.
I did that, it was hard so learn from me!
I do not take that for granted and have been truly grateful to be able to bear children.
This is a personal subject but I share this because I'd like to know your feelings on it.
How many children do you want or have? 
If you've completed your family, what was your final decision on this?
I'd love to hear your take so please leave a comment, shoot me an email or message.
I hope you're having a great day so far!
Also a special thank you to our Veterans.
I am truly grateful for those who risk their lives so that we may have freedom especially in my case, freedom of speech and freedom of religion.
Thank you from the bottom of my full heart!

2 comments:

  1. Beautifully written! I've always said I wanted 4 kids, but now that I have them, I feel like I go back and forth a lot. I know there are more spirits to come to our family, and I put it on hold when my hubby started back to school. Finances played a main role into why we've waited. But, I also don't want to wait too long. Ultimately it is a decision between the Lord and you and your husband. Don't listen to the world. They don't know the importance of eternal families. :-)

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  2. Thanks Jess! You're totally right, this decision will be made between us and who knows? I might have a few more or not but until then I'll just enjoy the ones I have now!! Have a great weekend!

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