Jan 21, 2014

4 years...

Four years down and forever to go.

Time sure does fly when you're having fun!

We've managed to fit in a lot in four years.
We are truly blessed with three healthy, rambunctious little boys.

Our relationship and love has blossomed.
As I look back on what the last four years entail, I can't help but get a little emotional to have a wonderful husband by my side to push me and support me in everything I do.

I have never been so much out of my comfort zone these last four years that nothing really seems out of grasp for me.
It has been the best experience learning to let go of my safety net and learn things on my own.
Moving away from my family and relocating to two different states has helped me grow in ways I couldn't have imagined.
Although I am two days early to wish my Lovey a happy anniversary, 
I knew I needed to get this post done today because come Thursday, we'll be acting like some honeymooners and having a weekend getaway in Vegas.
So of course after each year of marriage everyone is an 'expert' on marriage counsel and advice right?
I know I'm not an expert but I can share my thoughts on what I've felt have been working for us.
My advice to those dating seriously or considering marriage: 
SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE AND FORGIVE HOURLY!!
This has truly helped me.
No one needs to win at the silent treatment because that gets you nowhere and only builds distance between the two of you BUT I realize we are two very different people so if one needs space to blow off steam, don't take it like it's the end of the world.
Everything will be just fine.
As you build confidence in yourself, it makes it easier for your spouse to not have to spoon feed compliments to you.
I'm not saying not to compliment each other but I find a lot of times women (i.e.: the old me lol) fish for compliments because of something they feel they're lacking.
When I was overweight, I didn't have a lot of confidence so I relied on my husband to constantly tell me I was beautiful or that my thighs were fine just the way they are. (Talk about exhausting.)
As I started my own fitness journey, I realize I don't need a blanket and those were just excuses to hide the fact that I was overweight and too lazy to change my reality.
I'm no expert but being in a failed relationship and seeing the damage it's done for my oldest and for me mentally, I have learned never to suppress my feelings.
I was really broken coming out of that relationship but
I've learned to stop playing victim and take accountability of my own actions.
I've learned that if I don't like a situation, I change it, I fix it but I don't run from it.
I am able to speak my mind and my husband being the patient person he is will respect my opinions and let me vent...then eventually he'll make me see the light once I'm off my soap box.
The last year has truly been our best year.
I know we have an eternity to go but it feels that as each year goes by, we are able to work out the kinks and become better versions of ourselves.
We've finally gotten to the point where our communication is great.

I don't have this gaping hole in my heart because I feel misunderstood and he doesn't have a headache the size of Timbuktu because I don't need him to be with me every second of every day.
I've been smart enough to know when to back up and just let something go.
Get the picture?
The more you let go of your wants and needs, as soon as you lose yourself and serve your spouse with selflessness, you in turn gain so much more.
Wow, I sound so needy and clingy.
I promise guys, I'm not that bad!
I'm just real and what used to be, my old me, is gone.
I'm better and I've improved.
We're learning and we're growing.
Together and individually.
This year I anticipate some amazing things together and separately.
I love that we have our own interests and ventures yet each day as we talk about them,
we encourage each other to keep pushing.
He's my biggest motivator and support.
I couldn't do it without him and I'm truly grateful he's mine!!
I love you babe! Happy Anniversary.

Make it a great day and may you continue to serve and be selfless for in your selflessness, you learn much more about yourself, you find inner strength and your love grows through service!
If you don't believe me, do a random act of kindness and tell me you didn't feel good about doing something nice for someone else.

3 comments:

  1. aawww i love this! i love you, i love my cousin, and love my 3 beautiful nephews!! im so happy for you guys and happy early anniversary!! i love this post, i couldnt agree with you more on SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE AND FORGIVE! that is what Kasey and I both learned and its helped with our relationship TREMENDOUSLY!! thank you for your awesome blogs, i love reading them!! love you again and forever :) XOXO

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  2. love you two together!!! You guys are the cutest couple :)

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  3. I love you babe. Through the ups and downs, we're in it together for eternity :).

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