Apr 3, 2014

Smiles for Miles

I've been holding off on writing this post since I found out last Monday morning of the tragic news of my dear friend Miles.

There are so many emotions and so many thoughts that run through my head.
My initial reaction was shock.
I couldn't believe it.
I wouldn't believe it.
She weighed heavy on my mind the whole day.
I just talked to her two days before.
At work I found myself laughing thinking of a memory and then I would cry.
I found myself checking her Instagram and Facebook, hoping for some clever and witty post or comment.
I still find myself wondering her last thoughts, wondering if it was instant.
Wondering of the pain or fear she may have felt right before.
Then I realize that is not what I should be focusing on.
I know where she is and I know she is at peace.
I know her reunion with her amazing father was sweet.
I know that because of the ultimate sacrifice Christ made for us, He was able to
loose the bands of death so that we may have everlasting life through the atonement.
I know that families can be together forever.
I know she was a faithful, beautiful daughter of God and with that brings peace.
Although I have this knowledge, the pain and hurt still subsides.
Miles always made me laugh and made me realize that life is grand!

She always told me she was a princess and would ask if we really have to grow up?
She was a child at heart, smart, funny and although short in height everything about her was larger than life.

She noticed all.
She paid attention to the little details.
I think this described her best!
Her words and writing were what connected us together.
When she lost her father 9 years ago, we became close.
You see, Miles is my son's aunt on his dad's side.
We weren't supposed to be close.
My son's dad and I were going through a separation.
Isn't that awkward?
Not for Miles.
She loved ALL and accepted everyone.
 She had a way of making even the outcasts feel at home and loved.
She poured her heart out onto paper. 
I loved it.
I admired her honesty and the way she could carefully craft such well written lines.
She wrote this clever piece seven years ago.
I know in my heart, it was a tender mercy for us to keep.
I am grateful.
We emailed, talked and she welcomed me with open arms when I stopped by the house to say hello
and when we ran into each other while attending the U.
Her tiny frame, her high pitched voice, the way she scrunched her nose when she talked.
I miss it all.

I miss her dearly and yet I know she's near.
I know the veil is thin and I know the Plan of Salvation is real.
I know each day from here on out will vary.
Grieving has a weird way of showing itself and sometimes it can hit you like a ton of bricks.
Everyone grieves differently but in the end we know that we were sent here to earth to learn, to face trials, to know sadness and pain only to truly feel joy and happiness.
I've truly been blessed to have an amazing person such as Miles come into my life
and place a huge imprint in my heart.
Although the tears may flow from time to time, just know I'll smile for you Miss Miles because you wouldn't have it any other way.
May your dances with your father be sweet, may your butterfly kisses be plenty and God be with you till we meet again my friend.
Come visit me through the wind and the trees.
Drop me a rainbow or two.
I hope you stay with me
as I face trials and conquer them just as you always knew I could.
Thank you for helping me open my eyes to see my potential and how life was supposed to be.
I'll take bike rides and grab slurpees just for you.
I'll savor in all the beauty that's around me.
Though dark skies and sadness may arise, life is beautiful and sweet.
I'll share with my children your zest for life and help them embrace their youth.
I miss you and love you to the moon and back.
Thank you for saving me from my emotional drowning I was in so many years ago.
Thank you for helping me find my way and 
for being the crutch I needed to heal my heavy heart.

I hope you all continue to share with those around you, your love and appreciation for them.
Don't take people and things for granted for tomorrow is never promised.
Rest in peace Miss Miles.

5 comments:

  1. I am so very sorry...what a beautiful post.

    Laura @ Mice In The Kitchen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Laura!! I hope all is well with you! :)

      Delete
  2. I love you T!
    Thanks for making me bawl again! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love you T!
    Thanks for making me bawl again! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. ..well said...that was simply amazing!
    Love and miss ya Miles...

    ReplyDelete

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